the blog quebecois

Dear Prime Minister,

I distinctly remember your promise in the past campaign; that if you were elected, the Government of Canada would make it a top priority to put Carolyn Parrish in a locked, weighted steamer trunk and send it over Niagara Falls. (The Canadian side is far more picturesque, of course.)

Alas, yet another Liberal promise broken. But who's counting? I see that Ms. Parrish is again in the news:

Canadian Member of Parliament Carolyn Parrish had said she hated "damned Americans" and called them bastards in the run-up to the Iraq war. She found a new moniker, idiots, on Wednesday in discussing the planned U.S. missile defense system.

"We are not joining the coalition of the idiots. We are joining the coalition of the wise," the Liberal legislator told a small group of demonstrators.

Parrish, who had to apologize for her "bastards" remarks last year, at first denied using the word idiots, and when reporters pointed out they had her remarks on tape, she said: "I don't mean Americans are idiots."

Parrish then begged reporters not to use the remarks: "Please guys don't put that on tape," she said. "I already got into trouble once.... Really, please, I've had enough trouble."

Four hours later, however, she hardened her line.

"The last one was a really stupid thing to say," she told Reuters. "Bastards is an inappropriate word. Idiots is a term people use in everyday conversation," she told Reuters.

Quite so, Prime Minister. I myself have used, and continue to use, the term "idiots" in everyday conversation, usually when discussing you and your government.

However, I've been trying to think of a more appropriate term for Ms. Parrish, and by Jove, I think I've got it. Addlepated douchebag.

Kind of rolls off the tongue. Addlepated douchebag.

You might object -- isn't this a "sexist" term? No, Sir, it most manifestly is not!

Although addlepated douchebag will first and foremost bring to mind the distinguished member from Mississauga-Erindale, it works extraordinarily well when describing other Liberal politicians. It's really quite flexible that way:

Bill Graham, addlepated douchebag. Erwin Cotler, addlepated douchebag. Pierre Pettigrew, addlepated douchebag.

I think I'm on to something.

With your assistance, Prime Minister, we can put addlepated douchebag where it belongs -- at the top of the Google rankings. Let Canada be known as the number-one location for discriminating consumers of addlepated douchebaggery.

I remain, your loyal servant, & etc.

gnotalex